Free money for all of my friends

The Central Arkansas Development Council has announced that it will begin accepting applications for Utility Assistance on January 9^th, 2012.  This federally funded program will pay monthly heating bills that you may not wish to pay yourself.   While picking up your utilities check, you should really apply for some of the other great programs they offer.

Currently through their Individual Development Accounts the CADC is offering better returns on savings than any local or national financial institutions that I know of.   For every dollar that you save, this federally funded program will match it with 3.  This is much better than the .77% my IRA is earning and I will be running to their offices first thing tomorrow morning.

Since you will be receiving 300% interest on your new savings account, you should really schedule an appointment with their tax advisors.  They will prepare your tax returns for you at no cost.  Oh, I almost forgot, they can also help you find a way round the $6500 they will pay to weatherize your home. 

If any of you are single moms and would like to go back to school, they also offer Single Parent Scholarships to cover any financial emergencies that may cause you to drop out of school.  This is not for tuition but is to be used to catch up on rent, car payments or other bills that you may be behind on.

You’ll have to forgive my ignorance on the other services they offer in that I really don’t understand why anyone would need them after receiving all of the above.  The CADC also runs a Benefits Bank that will assist you in obtaining food stamps, Medicaid or other programs.  They will even pay for your child care expenses.

I am just sorry that it took me so long to discover all the help that federally funded, private non-profits have to offer.  I feel so stupid for working and investing my savings all these years at such paltry rates when all I would have had to do is walk through their front doors. 

Oh dang, I should have read a little further before saying anything.  Sorry but only low-income a.k.a non-working persons need apply.  This is why the democrats get so many votes.